How to Be a Man of Integrity
by John Ingrisano
Introduction
Sadly, I know too many people who have just about given up meeting a man of integrity. Too often, they are faced with users, takers, deceivers, manipulators or just goof balls who slouch through life with their baseball caps turned around and their pants too low.
I think the problem is that too many males these days do not know how to be men. From my experience (been a man for 57 years), here is what it takes to be a man of integrity.
INSTRUCTIONS
Things You'll Need
. The guts to want to be a man of integrity
. Self-discipline
Steps
Step One
Be steady. That is perhaps the highest compliment a real man can receive: being called steady. Not flashy. Not dangerous. Not cool. Steady!
Be the kind of man who provides for those who depend on you--coming home every night, working hard, being a good father, not changing your mind every time the wind of public opinion changes.
Step Two
Be reliable. If you say you are going to do something do it, even if no one is watching. Real men have principles that they honour.
Step Three
Be a man of integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Make your word sacred.
Step Four
Be honest. Don't play games, cut corners or manipulate the truth. Speak the truth and have the guts the stand behind your own words. Be a person others can trust.
Step Five
Be strong. Our strength is one of our greatest traits. That does not mean being a tough guy, but it does mean taking responsibility--both the physical and emotional pain -- when the people who count on you are counting on you.
Forget whining and complaining. Even when you get hurt over royally, be strong. People will learn to count on you if you are a man of strength.
Step Six
Be a man of principle. When you speak, know why you believe what you are saying. Just as important, act according to your best set of principles.
Step Seven
Respect yourself. Walk, dress and conduct yourself with self-respect, like you know you are worth something.
Step Eight
Respect others. Belittling, manipulating and bullying others is a sign of weakness. A man of integrity treats others--especially women--with respect.
Step Nine
Recognize that you are an example, a role model. Be a positive one. You can make a tremendous difference in the lives of those who count on you.
Tips & Warnings
Women aren't sport. They want to be part of your adventure as a man, but they do not want to actually BE your adventure.
Check out John Eldredge's book, "Wild at Heart," for more on the best attributes of men.
Being a man of integrity has nothing to do with whether or not you show emotion or shed a tear at that soppy part in a chic movie. Some men like to keep their feelings to themselves. Others are okay with expressing them. That's your call, and it has nothing to do with your manliness.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
How to Cultivate Love
by Amanda Ford
Introduction
Whether it’s romantic love, familial love, friendship love or simply love for the great, grand universe, practicing these steps daily will infuse your life with more love than you ever thought possible.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
How to Cultivate Love
Steps
Step One
Fall in love with life. The other day I asked a friend of mine if he is the type of person who falls in love easily. He replied, “Are you kidding? I fall in love with all of humanity every day.” It’s no wonder this guy has an abundance of loving relationships. His heart is wide open, ready to give and receive love.
Step Two
Accept that love has nothing to do with another person. Love is the condition of your own heart. Love is the way you live, the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you interact with every aspect of your world.
Step Three
Start immediately. If you wait to give love until your soulmate crosses your path or wait for that "perfect" moment, then you will never give love. If nobody has broken the news about the Tooth Fairy to you yet, let me: She does not exist. Neither do perfect circumstances.
Step Four
Give freely and eagerly. Love is not like money. Love does grow on trees. Love is plentiful. It is infinite actually. You don’t need to store your love in a locked vault and save it for one perfect purchase. Let love burn a hole in your pocket.
Step Five
Honour all types of love. It isn’t only idealized, romantic love that leads to a marriage that lasts until death do you part that matters. Friendship love, family love, neighborly love, divine love and self love are all essential and equally important types of love.
Step Six
Bestow genuine compliments. Every day give three thoughtful compliments, each to a different person. If you can’t find three people to sincerely compliment, open your eyes—and your heart—a little wider. Beauty, both internal and external, is abundant and worth acknowledging.
Step Seven
Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even the smallest lie erodes the foundation of love. No lasting relationship can survive lies.
Step Eight
Hug like you mean it. There is nothing worse than a side hug, a pat-pat or a hug that allows enough space for the gale force winds to blow through and knock you over. Embrace warmly and with intention.
Step Nine
Accept loved ones as they are. Nothing feels less like love than somebody who corrects, judges, critiques and tries to “improve” you. We all long to be treasured despite our flaws. Or even better, we long for our flaws themselves to be treasured. Start the cycle of acceptance by treasuring every part of every person you love.
Step Ten
Listen. Do not project your hopes onto others. Do not impose your beliefs onto their words. Listen quietly without interrupting and offering advice.
Step Eleven
Remember important events. Celebrate birthdays, wish good luck before an interview, inquire about stressful meetings, offer assistance before surgery, follow-up about the loss of a pet. Showing genuine interest in the major events in the lives of those around you will endear you to them for life.
Step Twelve
Call just to say I love you. Small gestures of affection toward loved ones, friends, family, neighbors and coworkers can turn an average, or even awful, day into an extraordinary one.
by Amanda Ford
Introduction
Whether it’s romantic love, familial love, friendship love or simply love for the great, grand universe, practicing these steps daily will infuse your life with more love than you ever thought possible.
Instructions
Difficulty: Easy
How to Cultivate Love
Steps
Step One
Fall in love with life. The other day I asked a friend of mine if he is the type of person who falls in love easily. He replied, “Are you kidding? I fall in love with all of humanity every day.” It’s no wonder this guy has an abundance of loving relationships. His heart is wide open, ready to give and receive love.
Step Two
Accept that love has nothing to do with another person. Love is the condition of your own heart. Love is the way you live, the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you interact with every aspect of your world.
Step Three
Start immediately. If you wait to give love until your soulmate crosses your path or wait for that "perfect" moment, then you will never give love. If nobody has broken the news about the Tooth Fairy to you yet, let me: She does not exist. Neither do perfect circumstances.
Step Four
Give freely and eagerly. Love is not like money. Love does grow on trees. Love is plentiful. It is infinite actually. You don’t need to store your love in a locked vault and save it for one perfect purchase. Let love burn a hole in your pocket.
Step Five
Honour all types of love. It isn’t only idealized, romantic love that leads to a marriage that lasts until death do you part that matters. Friendship love, family love, neighborly love, divine love and self love are all essential and equally important types of love.
Step Six
Bestow genuine compliments. Every day give three thoughtful compliments, each to a different person. If you can’t find three people to sincerely compliment, open your eyes—and your heart—a little wider. Beauty, both internal and external, is abundant and worth acknowledging.
Step Seven
Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even the smallest lie erodes the foundation of love. No lasting relationship can survive lies.
Step Eight
Hug like you mean it. There is nothing worse than a side hug, a pat-pat or a hug that allows enough space for the gale force winds to blow through and knock you over. Embrace warmly and with intention.
Step Nine
Accept loved ones as they are. Nothing feels less like love than somebody who corrects, judges, critiques and tries to “improve” you. We all long to be treasured despite our flaws. Or even better, we long for our flaws themselves to be treasured. Start the cycle of acceptance by treasuring every part of every person you love.
Step Ten
Listen. Do not project your hopes onto others. Do not impose your beliefs onto their words. Listen quietly without interrupting and offering advice.
Step Eleven
Remember important events. Celebrate birthdays, wish good luck before an interview, inquire about stressful meetings, offer assistance before surgery, follow-up about the loss of a pet. Showing genuine interest in the major events in the lives of those around you will endear you to them for life.
Step Twelve
Call just to say I love you. Small gestures of affection toward loved ones, friends, family, neighbors and coworkers can turn an average, or even awful, day into an extraordinary one.
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